Why were we taught to NOT express our emotions? The bad ones anyway. Men arent allowed to cry, women arent allowed to lose it, children arent allowed to act out. If we’re only meant to feel good, then what’s this whole anger thing about? When I learned why, a little mini bomb triggered and kinda blew my mind.
It’s an insanely cool idea. I’ve had emotions my whole life, and it never once entered my brain to ask the question, why do we feel? Thats what humans do right? BUT. I learned that emotions have a purpose…… What? neeeat. They exist clear up our thinking and to literally guide us along our way through life. Isnt that incredible? We have a built in system that tells us which way to go! Esther Hicks calls it our ‘guidance system’. But here’s the really cool part, how it works.
When you feel bad, your thoughts are not ‘aligned‘, meaning you are not thinking what your ‘true self’, soul, or what source (God) thinks. You might think one day, I hate myself. It in turn, makes you feel bad, and rightly so. This is because your true self does NOT hate you, and this negative thought causes dissonance. Dissonance FEELS bad. It doesnt match up with your truth. So that would mean, all we have to do is follow our feelings. If something makes you feel bad, do or think something else, until you feel good. Simple.
Of course, you know us humans, we tend to complicate things, so its more involved than that.
We have this nasty habit of ignoring our feelings and letting thoughts go by unchecked.
It’s kind of what we were taught. Once you start paying attention to your feelings again, you can learn to follow your guidance. ‘Your emotional body communicates through your physical body.’ (Brian Ridgeway) When you ‘tune in’ to your feelings, guidance comes through as physical sensations. Then we can say, hmmm now whats that feeling? Identify it and follow our guidance system back to happiness.
But it gets a little more hairy.
As I started learning spiritual principles, I stopped allowing myself to feel bad. I thought I had to be perfect. Anger and spirituality dont go jive! But the truth is, I didnt even know I was pinching off my pre-installed guidance system! We need those negative emotions to tell us when were going the wrong way.
The greatest concept on this subject is “You are where you are”. When Esther Hicks said that, it was such a relief! Instead of shoving love, hope and optimism down my throat, I was able to STOP and say, ‘ok, what am I really feeling?’. Sometimes it’s really easy to identify. Anger? ok, now that im paying attention, lets express this. should I beat a pillow? Should I have a little talk with someone? Should I go for a jog and blow off steam? Or can i just exclaim ‘God, IM SO ANGRY’ and allow it to flow through. Phew, now that’s out of the way, I’ll feel good in no time.
Hold on, you knew there would be more, didntchya.
We may also have lessons to learn.
Bad things happen. They do. From a spiritual perspective, we brought it to us. If like attracts like, some certain way we were thinking led it right into our experience. Its so hard to believe or understand, because you’d never choose something like that for yourself. But look closer. What was happening, what were you thinking, how were you feeling before the situation occurred? You might find some strange coincidences. The more we pay attention to our thoughts and feelings, the more we can learn to clean up the little messes we make.
The Emotional Scale
David Hawkins in his book Power vs. Force, created the Emotional Scale, later reiterated by Esther Hicks. Its a list of emotions from positive to negative. Those emotions down there at the bottom, those are bad. We’re not supposed to go down there. But were human! With the ability to experience all the feelings our human world has to offer. WE GO DOWN THERE. It’s our nature.
The key is, not to stay down there too long.
But, as Ive learned from Esther, you can’t always just snap out of it. You cant leap from Anger all the way to Joy, we must work our way back up. Ideally through internal pep talks. (mantra: I am my own best friend) Does it feel better to blame someone than to be angry? Then by all means, blame someone. Are you disappointed? Does that feel better than blame, then stay there for a minute. Work your way up through frustration, contentment, hopefulness all the way up to the top. But as you start to go, slow down, take a breath. Acknowledge where you are. ALLOW yourself to experience the feeling. Life is all about experience.
So let me answer this question in the simplest terms: its OK to be Pissed Off… WHEN you’re pissed off. Feel what you feel. Let it flow through you as you feel it. Allow it to come and allow it to go. Clearing all those emotions makes room for new better ones. So then all of your emotions are more authentic, more real and you’re living a TRUE and guided life… A life guided by YOU!
one last thing. I think Richard Pryor is absolutely right.